A Sweet, Smart, and Soulful Girl

In the summer of 2000 I got home from a trip to the British Isles. It was a a lot of fun (despite everyone else that was SUPPOSED to go flaking out).  On a side note, I also learned on my return that making ATM withdrawals across international borders costs a lot in surcharges.  But this is only tangential to the story. 

You see, a week after returning there was this party.  Nothing momentous, just another summer pool party for our single adult ward (a congregation made up of mostly 18-31 year old single Mormons).  The party was at someone's house with more money than sense.  I remember this party for two reasons.  First of all there was a giant dolphin fountain (See, more money than sense!) and secondly I met a girl.

Well,  I had met her before but had never exchanged more than a few words with her. She was tangentially a part of the group of people I hung out with. (It was a big group with lots of people cycling in and out.)


Several of "the group" we're sitting around a table chatting about artistic endeavors.  (I remember talking, rather pretentiously, about "my art".)  At the other end of the table I heard this girl talking about David Lynch.  My movie geek sense began tingling.  David Lynch? The famed auteur?  The guy that gave us one of the most brilliantly bizarre films ever made, Eraserhead? I had to talk to her.  A cute Mormon girl discussing David Lynch at a party is not something you ignore!  Needless to say, I worked my way over to the other side of the table and we began to talk movies. Lo-and-behold, we hit it off. We agreed that a movie night in the near future was in order but left it at that.  I sensed that she was more than casually interested in me and I was still tingling.  She was awesome.

The next day was church and I wasted no time. I Immediately tracked her down and we agreed to a movie date at her house.  A few days later I brought a suitably artsy movie over and, not surprisingly, she liked it.  She seemed to like ME too.  We took a walk and began to talk.  We finished the walk and talked some more, several hours more.  I remember going home late, heart a flutter.  I had wanted to kiss her that night but thought that might be a little premature. 

Fast forward to our third date.  We returned home to her house, sat on the couch, and talked some more.  When it was time to for me to go we hugged and, on a whim, I leaned in and kissed her then quickly left, not looking back.  I wasn't sure if I had been too forward or not but it felt right.

Luckily, it was right.  The next day we hung out and she let me know in no uncertain terms that she was fully ready and willing to kiss me too.  (Did I mention she was also very good at it?)

Time passed.  I remember, sometime around my birthday that year, realizing that I really and truly was in love with this lovely, artistic, smart, and soulful girl.  (She tells me she knew I was in love with her when I once called he " My Main Squeeze".)

We dated into the summer 2001. I had just finished a principal photography on a very dysfunctional and ultimately failed short film that had ended up stressing me out beyond words.  One warm summer evening, a week or so after the shoot, I was decompressing over at her apartment. Glad to be done with the film, my mind was turned to more serious matters.  I was thinking that maybe it was time to ask her to marry me.  I loved her, she loved me, and we were great together. There really was no reason to prolong the inevitable.  I had a problem though.  I was irrationally scared at the prospect of the actual proposal.  In other words, I was a big fat wuss.

Luckily, the stars aligned.  It seems she had been thinking along the same lines.  Sitting there on her futon, we had "the talk".  She wanted to know where this relationship was going (and rightly so).  We had dated for a year and she wanted some clarification.  I remember the conversation going something like this,

Amy: "Nate, we've dated for a year now.  Where do you see this relationship going?"

Me: "Well, I think we have something.  I guess I see us getting married. How about you?"

Amy: "I see that too."

Me: "Why don't we then... get married."

Amy: "Okaaay. (long pause) Does this mean were engaged?"

Me: "I think so."

(Long pause)

Amy: "Ok, but I want you to do it the right way."

Nate: "Huh, ok. (kneels and takes her hand) Amy Glaser, will you marry me?"

Amy: "Yes!"

Then we kissed (we were very good at it by now) and called our parents.  Not very romantic I realized.  We immediately shopped for rings and I put a deposit down on the one she wanted.  I payed off the ring and planned to do a better proposal at a nice restaurant.

 A couple weeks later we went to the nice restaurant.  (Plan working so far!) It was a lovely evening: great atmosphere, warm summer evening, great food. (Huzzah!)  Then, they sat us in a weird little section of the restaurant with tiny booths all bunched together.  The booths were so closely packed together we were essentially sharing a table with a couple of complete strangers. (Alert! Plans fizzling!)   I managed to contort my body to fit in the little booth. (Kinda' hard to kneel now. Ugh!) In retrospect I should have asked for a different table but the thought never crossed my mind at the time.  We had an akward dinner, trying to ignore out tablemates, and I recalculated my plans. (Sigh.)

Later, over at my place, I remember sitting on the couch thinking, "In the long run it doesn't really matter where it is I give her this ring.  I think she'll be happy regardless."

I pulled it out of my pocket and I remember the look in her eyes when she saw the little velvet box.  I was right.  It didn't matter.  

On October 11, 2001 we were married for time and all eternity in the Salt Lake Temple. 

Now here we are living in a quiet little town in Ohio expecting our 4th child.  We've grown a lot in these last ten years.  I'm more in love with her now than ever and  I look forward to many more years.

I love you Amy Kathleen Frary.  You are are the superlatives I can think of and damn sexy to boot.


Nate